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2012 MELBOURNE COMEDY FESTIVAL
UPCOMING SHOWS...

PETER HELLIAR
SNAZZY
For his Confirmation Pete wore a yellow sweater and a thin purple leather tie. His Nan said he was the Snazziest boy there. Now that he’s older Pete has realized Snazzy is not about the threads, it's an attitude.
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MATTHEW HARDY
"After hours of drinking heavily, this bloke can barely see his hand in front of his face, but he turns to the person sitting next to him at the bar and says,
“Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”
The person says, in a female voice,
“Listen mate, I weigh 175 pounds, I’m the Australian Women’s Kick-boxing Champion, and I’m blonde. My blonde friend next to me weighs 190 pounds and is the Women’s World Arm-Wrestling Champion and the woman next to her weighs 230 pounds is the Women’s World Power-Lifting Champion. She’s also a natural blonde and we too have been drinking all day. Now, do you still want to tell that blonde joke?”
The bloke thought for a while and said,
“Nah… Not if I have to explain it three times”.
Click here to find out more about Matthew Hardy.
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MARTY FIELDS
"A guy calls an agency to get a quote on a 6 piece band for a wedding.
The agent says,
"Off the top of my head...... about $2,000."
The guy says,
"WHAT! FOR MUSIC?."
The agent says,
"I'll tell you what, why don't you call the plumbers union & ask for six plumbers to work from 7pm to midnight on a Saturday night and whatever they quote you, we'll do it for half."
Click here to find out more about Marty Fields. |